My brother is getting a job. Everything is arranged, and now he just needs to send the documentation and apply. I’m writing his resume. I’ve filled out the personal information, and now I need to write about work experience and skills. I can’t formulate anything useful, not even a vague phrase for every CV. The only things that come to mind are the activities he’s been doing for years: sticking political posters, tearing down opposing posters, transporting grandmothers and grandfathers to vote, composing the Bulgarian train1, nodding behind the speaker with a serious expression, writing comments on web portals, manipulating election materials at the polling station. What should I put for hobbies? Recreationally changing the electoral will of the citizens. I’ll write this version of the resume. It’s going well, the text is coming to me so easily. In essence, it’s the ideal CV for the people who receive it, although they probably want it written differently.
Elena: Creative?
David: Yes, I wrote my brother’s CV. I found a nice template, and the text came out well. Look at the email, I’ve attached it.
Elena: I’m looking…
Elena: You’re really creative when it comes to mocking someone. It’s always like that. And when something smart needs to be thought of, I have to do it.
David: Well, it’s all true, and those are the qualities that make him ideal. I’ll send it to him now.
Elena: Dave, I don’t understand why you’re doing this.
David: Okay, I’ll try to think of something better.
I tried to compose the CV for almost an hour, but I wasn’t getting anywhere. I had nothing to write. Elena messaged me again.
Elena: Honey, did you finish the CV?
David: No, I haven’t written a word, it’s not going well. I gave up, I’ll try again tomorrow.
Elena: Maybe you’re working on our game?
David: No, I don’t have the energy to work today.
Elena: Are you studying for college?
David: No. I’m too lazy.
Elena: Playing CM?
David: I’m not doing anything. But I was thinking about playing CM until morning tonight. A little brain rest.
Elena: I can’t work today either. If I were more interesting to you than the game, we could hang out. Bitter leaf2 0.75l.
David: Of course you’re more interesting than the game.
Elena: You’re lying.
David: E = (cm)²
Elena: Really?
David: Really, the most real.
Elena: That’s nice how you said it in a formula, but it’s incorrect, only c is squared.
David: That’s relative, Elena!
Elena: So, are you coming?
David: I’ve already passed Liman Park… I’ll be at your door soon. I’m walking and can’t believe that you won’t study or work tonight and tomorrow until noon… I feel important.
Elena: Shut up and turn off that computer.
David: I’ll be there in 20 minutes. See you…
Elena: I’m waiting for you… bye!
I’ll turn off the computer. Before that, I just need to send my brother the first version of the CV. Maybe he’ll like it. Or maybe I shouldn’t send it, he might get offended. Whatever, I’ll send it. Click. Sent.
I see that Max sent an email. Elena told him I plan to send my brother a real CV and asked him to talk me away from doing that, and he agreed.
He wrote: “Oh, Davy, no, no, no, no…“
1A method of election Fraud.
2 Local liqueur.
